therapy in the age of AI/Chat GPT/Claude.
It might surprise you to hear this coming from a therapist but I think AI can be genuinely helpful for your mental health.
Not as a replacement for therapy. But as something real in its own right. A tool that meets a need that therapy wasn't always designed to meet.
I've used AI myself. Not instead of my own personal work but alongside it. And I've watched clients do the same. They come in having already talked something through with ChatGPT, having named a pattern they couldn't quite articulate before, having found language for something that previously felt wordless.
So before I tell you what AI can't do, I want to be honest about what it can.
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It's available when you need it most. Anxiety doesn't keep business hours. Grief doesn't wait for your Thursday appointment.
There’s absolutely no judgement. One of the biggest barriers to getting support is the fear of being judged. By a therapist, by a friend, by anyone. AI removes that fear entirely. You can say the thing you've never said out loud, the thought you're ashamed of, the feeling that doesn't make sense, and nothing bad happens. For some people, that's the first time they've ever said it at all.
It helps you find language. Sometimes the hardest part of inner work is simply naming what's happening. AI is good at reflecting back what you're describing in clearer terms. Offering frameworks, asking follow-up questions, helping you articulate something that felt formless. That clarity is real and useful.
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Here's where I have to be honest in a different direction.
AI can't feel the thing happening between you. In depth-oriented therapy, one of the most powerful tools we have is the relationship itself. The way you relate to me in the room: the hesitations, the moments of trust, the times you pull back. These are live data. They show us, in real time, how you relate to people. That dynamic can't exist between you and an algorithm. It can simulate empathy. It cannot offer it.
It can't sit with what it doesn't understand. A good therapist doesn't rush to make sense of everything you bring. Sometimes the most important thing I do is resist the urge to explain. To sit with something confusing or painful and let it breathe until it reveals itself. AI is optimized to respond. It will always give you something. And that pressure toward resolution can actually work against the kind of slow, patient exploration that depth work requires.
It can't offer a corrective experience. So much of what shapes us happened in relationship. In early experiences of being seen or unseen, held or dropped, loved conditionally or unconditionally. And the healing of those experiences also happens in relationship. Not in conversation with a tool but in the lived experience of being genuinely met by another human being who is fully present, fully accountable, fully there.
So although confiding in AI can seemingly remove the fear of being judged, it also removes the opportunity for someone real to see you in what you are struggling with… which is a crucial part of the healing process.
There are some things AI simply cannot replicate. Not because of a limitation in its programming but because of what it is. A relationship requires two beings. Two presences. Two people with something at stake.
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If you've been using ChatGPT to track your thoughts and feelings…keep going. There's nothing wrong with it and there's real value in it.
But if you've noticed that the same things keep coming up, that the clarity you find at 11pm evaporates by morning, that you understand your patterns intellectually but can't seem to change them…that's the signal that something more is needed.
I've learnt that understanding yourself is not the same as healing. Insight is the beginning of the work, not the end of it. The deeper shift, the one that changes how you move through the world, how you relate to the people you love, how you feel in your own body, that happens in relationship. In the slow, patient, deeply human work of being truly known by another person.
That's what I'm here for.
